Death by Carrots....

I work at Albany Visitors Association doing various website projects, on this particular day I had a half filled bag of baby carrots, the plan was to work through lunch so I could leave at 4ish, The carrots were delicious, each one had a taste and an adventure, they were great... I especially like to eat the outsides so that only the core of the carrot remains....mmmm.... so the plan went well, I finished the bag off, 4pm came, Jessi came and off to the evening we went. The beginnings of the pains started right before dinner, my stomach had a dull ache to it, not enough to deter me from eating dinner but, soon the ache became more and more. I was soon on the floor in agony, I hate stomach aches, most of the time I can only think of the movie Aliens and just wait for a little creature to pop out... hence my trouble realizing a pregnant woman has a baby in her and not an alien.... anyways.... I make my way home, where the pain just continues to get worst... In times of sickness I always try to refer to my moms remedies when I was a child, this one was simple.... poop.... I know all I had to do was poop, as some of you may know this strategy has gotten me into a bit of trouble in the past, but despite that I continued. One problem presented itself though, I couldn't poop, the pain in my stomach, couldn't be remedied because I couldn't poop. Time went on and the pain continued, until I threw up, sure enough it was all carrots, I started filling a bit better after that... Then midnight came and the pain was back, still unable to poop, I decided to go with a plan some of my roommates were urging all night.... laxatives.... I had never taken laxatives before and with that I had two fears, the first being that I would lose control and become a pooping geyser or the second being of that of a champagne bottle... the pain won over the fears and I took the laxatives, which were delicious, tasted and looked just like a chocolate bar.... There was no geyser or champagne, I ended up falling asleep, and waking up feeling significantly better and I ended up pooping around noonish.... so nothing too exciting with the laxatives, but I didn't die, but I don't plan on buying baby carrots again any time soon.

Would you rather....

What would you rather do to the rubik's cube....

Solve it....


Or Blend it....

Macbook lovin'

So this is a couple months old but I thought I should share it with the world

Proof that we landed on the moon... take that doubters

Poopty Peupty Pants

This is short and sweet.....

I realized something today...

Any story involving poop, is never good, you can't tell a story about poop and expect people to have a better opinion of you....

so if something happens that involves you and poop...



keep it to yourself...

The important things in life.... And doing them right....

I was putting a "how to talk like a pirate" article on the albanyvisitors site today when I remembered something from a few months ago. This is brought to you by the beautiful people a wikihow.com, researching the "how tos" of life so that we all can be more prepared in our lives. Because we all know that preparation is key. So for all of you who fear commitment and need a crutch of confidence,

How to hold hands(the steps)

Step 1- Visualize how it will feel. If you are nervous, think of how good it will feel if the other person holds back.

Step 2- Take a hold of the other person's hand. While sitting, standing or walking next to that person, grasp his or her hand and lightly squeeze.

Step 3- Wait for a return squeeze. If they squeeze back, most times, they enjoy your company and don't mind you holding their hand.

Step 4- Use a hand-holding method. There are two approaches to hold another person's hand.
* You can either just grasp their hand and hold it (easy to achieve, but harder to stay held on longer); or
* Interlock fingers, which sometimes takes some work, but because the other person is holding on too, you can stay holding hands longer. Most times, it's better if you just start off with doing the first example until you are sure that the other person is okay with holding hands and will hold on.

Step 5- If you're absolutely sure that the person you held hands with is enjoying your company, look at him or her straight in the eyes and smile subtly.

And if the steps aren't enough there are tips to consider while going through the steps.

Tips

* Most times, the simple grasp of the hand will do but a more "intimate" way to hold hands is the interlocking finger grasp.
* With very young kids, offer them your finger for them to grasp their tiny hand around.
* If you can feel your hand starting to sweat, let go of his or her hand and hold his or her other hand.
* Smile a lot. Girls and guys love to see a lovely smile.
* Try not to hold hands with someone you like when you are freezing, because cold hands can be a MAJOR turn-off.
* Use the "my hands are so cold" line if you have the problem above. It will give you more of a reason to hold their hand.

And of coarse they wrap it up with a

WARNING: If they don't hold back, it may be very embarrassing for both you and the person you are with! Make sure they really like you!

wow I feel so much more confident in my holding hands department of life.... Now to go find some hands to hold.... Thank you Wikihow!!!!


Learn other important life skills such as:
How to touch a girl
How to show a guy that you like him without saying so
How to Smile
How to be a Kansas City Chief Fan
How to convince anyone of anything
How to deal with the need to "pass gas" in public
How to not get caught chewing gum at school
How to pray to Jesus

In the begining....

So here we are, beginning a journey together. My friend Nathan has encouraged me to start up a blog so here is my sandwich shop. The fuel for this blog will come from many different aspects of my life, my favorite one to share will be sharing the ridiculous quotes of one of my employers, who will remain veiled by my cunning choice of words, just in case by happenstance said employer reads said blog. Other than that the sandwich shop is meant for fun, and enjoyment.

So to start off this beautiful journey I would like to share something that I found at work today. I was browsing the internet looking for something of relevance to my job and I ran across a certain article that brings new importance to how effective a good title for an article can be. The article itself wasn't to entertaining but the title required me to read it, just as it will most likely do for you.

Ready......

Here it is...
Sleep Waking Dream Enacting Robot Will Get You Dumped, Fired, Arrested, Punched in the Wiener

I can create storylines for the first three scenarios in my head, but why will I get punched in the wiener, I had to know, so I read on, just as you should.